I don't seem to have enough energy to get my ass off the couch, let alone distract myself with something enough to stop these thoughts. I also have the concerns about what I will do with myself when my husband dies and I have spent more than a few days crying over the loss of my cat who is only 5 years old. A lot of my "visions" and thoughts are about my son dying in his sleep, being killed, etc. It was the worst 2 minute wait of my life. It was such intense fear that I wanted to drive away as fast as I could without waiting for my husband. I had this sudden image of a man running through the yard, opening our car door and then shooting my son in the head. I was sitting in our driveway in the car, my son in the back in his car seat, my husband was inside grabbing something so we could leave. Sometimes it just happens out of the blue. It happens to me, sometimes when I feel unexpectedly close to someone, or having a "high" moment. HOLY HELL ROLLER! I thought I was the only one with "crazy" thoughts like this. They completely ruin good moments and leave me very upset most of the time. I really detest these moods and don't know why I have them. Posts: 3 Joined: Sun 9:13 am Local time: Sun 2:49 pm Blog: View Blog (0)Ĭalicococonut wrote:My BPD emerged a little over a year ago, but I have had uncontrollable morbid thoughts of loved ones since I was very little. Why do I have them? How do I get rid of them? I definitely do not enjoy these thoughts, they leave me very sad and fearful. I will think back on memories of loved ones as if they are already dead, and begin crying uncontrollably When people do nice or "cute" things it is like a smile to a frown. Sometimes I will have 'fantasies' of loved ones dying and imagine the things I will do to cope, how I would act if they died etc. I will play with my dog and become very sad at how I will have to experience his death in less than a decade. Sometimes I will have a nice moment with somebody and thoughts of how they will not be with me for long enter my mind. They completely ruin good moments and leave me very upset most of the time.įor example a member of my family may do something silly and I will really enjoy it for the moment, then these thoughts of their inevitable death come rushing in my head and there begins a spiral of negative thoughts. Various forms of therapy, particularly dialectical behavior therapy, and medications to manage symptoms can help those with BPD lead a fulfilling life.My BPD emerged a little over a year ago, but I have had uncontrollable morbid thoughts of loved ones since I was very little. adults, according to the NIMH, although other estimates place the prevalence closer to 6 percent.Ĭommitting to treatment with patience and consistency can help individuals and their loved ones navigate the condition. Turbulence in emotion and self-concept can involve angry outbursts, severe mood swings, hopelessness, paranoia, self-harm, and suicidality 10 percent of those with the condition die by suicide.īPD often begins in adolescence or early adulthood. Terrified of abandonment, people with BPD cling to those close to them, crave reassurance and validation, and are upset by seemingly small changes. Instability manifests in relationships, emotion, and self-concept. The term originates from being on the “border” of psychosis-those with the condition seem to have a different sense of reality.
Borderline personality disorder is a condition characterized by instability and impulsivity.
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